Am I being bullied or harassed online?
If you ever find yourself asking this question, some good advice is always to trust your gut instinct. No-one knows you better than you. If you are feeling uncomfortable about online communications with another person then it is useful to know what steps you can take next. After all, you don’t want to trap yourself into a situation by just ignoring it.
1. Identify the type of bullying or harassment it might be.
This may help you have a clearer picture of what it is you’re going through. Being a victim of cyberbullying or online harassment can be an overwhelming experience, so doing something as simple as defining the situation may be a good first step to take. Also, if you choose to talk to someone about the issue, then this may help them to have a better understanding of what is happening too. There are many different types of online abuse, so have a look at our list of online bullying behaviours to help narrow it down.
2. Next Steps
Once you have identified what kind of online bullying or harassment is affecting you, then there are many different routes that you can now pursue. It’s important to remember that every case is unique, so a route of action that worked well for someone else may not work so well for you. Here’s a list of tips of both what to do and what not to do – after all, the very last thing that you would want would be to make the situation worse.
If it feels safe to do so, if you know who is abusing you, then perhaps consider approaching them face to face and ask them politely to stop. In some cases they may not even realise that what they are doing is offensive, so will hopefully be apologetic and grateful that you have pointed out their errors. But no matter if their actions were accidental or intentional, it is a good thing that they are being told directly that what they have done is hurtful and wrong. For example, you might say ‘You may not realise how this affects me, but…’.
Make sure that you remain calm and talk with a neutral tone. That way you can have a mature discussion rather than a confrontation that probably won’t solve anything. Avoid blaming or getting angry. Rehearse it first with a friend if that helps.
However the person making the posts chooses react to this will also indicate the type of person they are and how to move forward with this issue. For instance if they immediately get aggressively defensive, then you most likely need to take this matter further to student services or anyone else that can help you.
It’s perfectly understandable that when receiving hurtful messages online all you would want to do would be to immediately delete the messages, IM app or account. Whilst doing this may give you some peace of mind, it doesn’t mean that you are simply erasing the problem from your life. Perpetrators can always find a way to carry on the abuse.
It is a good idea to print off screenshots of the bullying before deleting, even if you don’t intend to report it right now – you may change your mind later – or things may escalate.. This is a great way to have the evidence to hand, without having to keep it from plaguing your device screen. But not to worry if you have deleted the messages before making a record! For example, all internet service providers and the police have ways of tracking emails. This is because all emails carry information which shows the path the email has taken before it reaches you. For more information take a look at the Myth of ‘Private’ Messaging page.
Also, if you are experiencing ongoing or sustained harassment, you may want to look at https://www.onlinesosnetwork.org/
It can be extremely beneficial for someone suffering from online bullying to talk to a professional. There are voluntary services that will be able to provide you with support, and you can get in contact with your student services as well. They will want to ensure that your university experience is as positive as possible. You will find many of these resources on the ADVICE page.
